


Renewal

by Dreamin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adult Hermione, Established Relationship, Everybody Lives, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Married Couple, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23816155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreamin/pseuds/Dreamin
Summary: When Severus can no longer remember their life together, Hermione does everything she can to help him.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape
Comments: 8
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilsherlockian1975](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilsherlockian1975/gifts).



> The inscription on Severus' ring is a line from "Love Not Me For Comely Grace" by Anonymous.

Opening his eyes felt like the hardest thing in the world to do, but once they were open, Severus was too busy looking around his hospital room to question why.

_What the **hell** am I doing back at St. Mungo’s? Did I have a relapse_? He sat up slowly, his hand going up to check his neck but instead of the still-healing puncture wounds, all he found was scar tissue, and not much of that. _What the devil is going on?_

His confusion only grew when there was a soft knock on the door and it opened to reveal Hermione Granger, who smiled, actually smiled, at him. “Oh good, you’re up.” She closed the door then approached the bed. “I was getting a little worried.”

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. “Indeed?” _What the hell is she doing here?_

Her smile widened to a grin. “You can drop the stoic act, Severus – there’s nobody here but us. Now get dressed, they said I could take you home as soon as you woke up.”

He glared at her. “Miss Granger, first, you do not have permission to address me by my given name. Second, why am I back at St. Mungo’s? I only just left it. Third, why would you, a student, take me home?”

She stared at him slack-jawed for a heartbeat then she laughed. “I see your sense of humor wasn’t affected when you hit your head. Now get dressed.”

He put as much menace into his voice as he could. “Miss Granger…” It was a tone that normally sent first-years scurrying for cover and older students giving him a wide berth.

She merely rolled her eyes. “That tone stopped scaring me years ago, Severus.”

“Professor.”

“Will you stop?” she asked, throwing up her hands in annoyance. “It’s not funny anymore.”

He was about to ask her what the hell was going on when a gleam of metal on his left hand caught his attention. There, on his ring finger, was the last thing he ever thought he’d see – a wedding band. At first, he thought it was silver, but when he removed it and looked at the inside of the band, he saw the stamp identifying it as white gold.

But what really threw him for a loop was the inscription – _Love me still but know not why._ It was a line from one of his favorite poems.

“Severus?” she asked worriedly, cutting into his thoughts. “What’s wrong?”

He put the ring back on then looked up at Hermione, finally noticing the differences. She was a few years older than he’d last seen her, but no more than five. Her hair was still as wild as ever, but her face had lost the rest of its childishness. In short, she was breathtakingly beautiful.

Her chocolate brown eyes were full of concern as she looked at him, and a few other emotions he did not want to name, but it was her left hand that caught his full attention. Specifically, the white gold wedding band that was a smaller, narrower version of his, and the diamond-and-sapphire engagement ring with it.

It took no time at all for him to put everything together, he only needed to ask two questions. “How long has it been since Voldemort’s defeat? And how long have we been married?”


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione stared at her husband, full understanding of the situation dawning. “You have partial retrograde amnesia.”

“So it would seem,” he said, sounding, like her, much calmer than the situation warranted. “Now please, Miss … Hermione, answer the questions.”

“A little over six years since he was defeated, we’ve been married for the last three.” She warily sat down at the foot of the bed, not taking her eyes off him. “You really don’t remember?”

“The last thing I remember is leaving St. Mungo’s against the healers’ orders.” They had wanted him to stay another fortnight to attempt to regain the weight and muscle-tone he had lost during his long recovery, but he’d told her he had been sick of hospital food, the staff, and the seemingly endless stream of well-wishers. The forced socialization was something they had laughed about together later.

She nodded. “After that, you, well, vanished. From the Wizarding World, I mean. The Ministry wanted to keep an eye on you, but no one could find you by magical means. They searched for a month before giving up.”

He raised an eyebrow, looking so much like her former professor and not her adoring husband that she wanted to cry. “I take it that’s when you stepped in.”

_You’re a Gryffindor, Hermione Snape. Act like it._ Taking a deep breath, she then gave him the brightest smile she could. “They tried all the magical means … but they didn’t even think about muggle means. You had sold the house at Spinner’s End but the realtor wouldn’t give me any information about your whereabouts. Thankfully, a new edition of the phone book came out that week,” she grinned, “and guess what I found under the entry for ‘Snape, S.’”

“My new address, I take it.”

“Got it in one. You were not happy to see me, let me tell you. Long story short-”

He smirked. “Too late.”

She rolled her eyes fondly. “Long story short, after a few home-cooked meals-”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “You can cook?”

“Yes, I can cook,” she said, smiling a bit. “No more interruptions. After a few home-cooked meals, we decided to give dating a try.”

He leaned back against the pillow, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Something tells me there was more to it than that.”

She shrugged. “I’m simplifying things but that’s the gist of it.”

He nodded. “When did I … propose?”

“That story can wait,” she said as she stood up. “Right now, I think we need to get the Healers back in here.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Fine.”


	3. Chapter 3

When the Healers realized Severus’ predicament, the first thing they did was give him a standard dose of Memory Potion. When that didn’t work, they gave him another. That didn’t work either and Hermione objected to giving him a third dose in such a short amount of time. They protested but she stood her ground and Severus felt something at the sight of someone caring so much about his well-being, but he refused to examine the emotion.

Quailing before the angry witch, the Healers declared there was nothing more they could do for him – his memories would either come back on their own or they wouldn’t. They offered to let him stay but once again, he was sick of the place. After changing into the clothes Hermione had brought ( _When did I start wearing muggle jeans again?_ ), he followed her out of the building and over to what she identified as “her” car.

The first part of the drive home, wherever that was, was silent – Hermione was focused on the traffic and he was still trying to wrap his head around the situation he suddenly found himself in. _Married, and to a former student, no less._ A vanilla-and-spice scent hit him, and he assumed it was her perfume. _She didn’t wear anything like that while she was a student, not that I paid attention to whatever it was she did wear then._ A sudden thought had his eyes widening. “Do we have any children?”

“Not yet,” she said, smiling a bit as she kept her eyes on the road. “We’ve talked about it. In the end, we decided to be open to any unplanned pregnancies, but we weren’t going to try just yet.”

Severus nodded. “And our … sex life?”

“You don’t really want to know,” Hermione said sympathetically. “Not yet, anyway. You’re still getting used to thinking of me as a friend and companion, maybe even as your wife, but as your lover? When you last remember seeing me as just your student? Too overwhelming.”

He stared at her. _She’s absolutely right, of course._ “Did you become a Legilimens in the intervening years?”

She chuckled. “There’s no need since I know you so well.”

“You seem terribly calm about all of this.”

“I guess it’s because while you don’t remember the past six years, you still remember me, albeit as just your former student. It’s more than enough to work with.” She smiled a bit. “After all, I’ve done it before.”

The modest house she eventually parked in front of was about as far from Diagon Alley as one could get and still be in London. It looked no different than the houses around it and Severus assumed that was why it was chosen. As they got out of the car and approached the front step, he could feel the hum of a ward and something in him told him it was hers.

“Is this where you found me?” he asked as she let them into the house.

“Yep,” she said as she set her purse down on a small table in the foyer and slipped her wand into a hidden pocket in her trousers. “You’d been here a month but there was nothing on the walls and you hadn’t unpacked a single box except for the stuff you used every day.” She rolled her eyes fondly. “I helped you unpack, but you refused to let me decorate. Thankfully, you relented when we got engaged.”

Severus glanced at each of the ground floor rooms – kitchen, sitting room, and den. All of them were done in a pleasing mix of earth and jewel tones, soft fabrics that begged to be touched, and the chairs and sofas all overstuffed. He wanted nothing more at that moment than to take a nap.

“Go ahead,” she said, grinning, and he realized he’d spoken aloud, “though I think you’ll find the bed more comfortable for your neck. Upstairs, our bedroom is the one at the end of the hall.”

_‘Our bedroom.’_ Her words made him feel something, but he wasn’t sure what. Instead of thanking her for her patience, her good humor in this, and everything else, he merely nodded then headed for the stairs.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione sat at their kitchen table with her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. She’d put up a good front for Severus but with him taking a nap, she had a chance to have a small emotional breakdown before she needed to be strong again.

_What if I never get my Severus back? What if he decides he couldn’t possibly love me and wants a divorce? I’d give it to him, I’d never force him to stay in a marriage he doesn’t want, but it would kill me to watch him leave._

“If we were back at Hogwarts, I’d deduct twenty points from Gryffindor and give you detention for lying to me,” Severus said casually as he came into the room then sat down across from her.

It wasn’t until he gave her his handkerchief that she realized she was crying. “Yes, well, one of us has to keep it together,” she muttered as she dabbed at her eyes then she eyed him. “You’re supposed to be napping.”

“It’s hard to sleep in a strange bed.”

She winced. “Right, didn’t think of that, sorry. Um, tonight, you can sleep there or in the guest room, I’ll sleep in whichever bed you don’t want.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Hermione, I’m not about to kick you out of your own bed.” He hesitated for a moment, something she couldn’t remember seeing him do before. “I assume we normally sleep in the same bed.”

She nodded. “But we don’t have to-”

“I think we should, doing something that should be familiar might help my recovery.”

“Alright.”

He assessed her. “And I would appreciate you not hiding your emotions from me in future.”

She sighed heavily. “I normally don’t, I just…”

“You didn’t want to burden me.”

“Yes.”

“We are in this together, this is both our burden to bear.”

She smiled weakly. “That sounds like my Severus.”

“I assume the man you love is still in here,” he said, pointing to his temple, “somewhere.”

“We’ll find him,” she said, feeling much more certain than she had a moment ago. “That is, if you want him to be found.”

“Before I ended up back at St. Mungo’s, was I … happy?”

Hermione smiled warmly. “The happiest you’ve ever been, though you’re still a snarky bastard, that’ll never change.”

He chuckled. “No, I don’t suppose it would.” He looked down at his hands for a moment, his right hand playing with his wedding ring, then he looked up at her. “I’ve been looking for happiness my entire life. If I had it with you, then yes, I want to have that back.”


	5. Chapter 5

She led the way down to the basement, which had been converted into a potions lab, though at the moment, it looked like the lab at Hogwarts after Longbottom had botched another potion.

“Sorry,” she said apologetically, “I didn’t get a chance to clean after the accident.”

Large, jagged chunks of a pewter cauldron were scattered around the broken remains of a table, and pools of iridescent liquid covered everything in a six-foot radius. One whiff – woodsmoke, petrichor, and a perfume he recognized as Hermione’s – told him exactly what it was.

“Why was I brewing Amortentia?” he asked, confused. “And what happened?”

“The cauldron was from a bad batch,” she said as she donned a pair of dragonhide gloves and started picking up the cauldron fragments. “There had been quite a few accidents according to _The Daily Prophet_ , but unlike in the Muggle world, there was no way to identify the lot they came from, so there hasn’t been a recall. As for why you were brewing a love potion, I have no idea. I didn’t even realize what it was until now – I was too busy giving you first aid to notice what you had been brewing. I only knew it wasn’t toxic since you weren’t wearing your protective gear.”

She wasn’t looking at him as she spoke but by the tone of her voice, he knew she was at least a little hurt. “I assume I wasn’t brewing it for either of us to use – you seem to be very much in love with me-”

Hermione looked up at him. “I am,” she said firmly. “I fall in love with you more and more each day.”

Severus nodded. “And I will be honest-”

“Please,” she said, smiling a bit.

He rolled his eyes. “I never thought I had a ‘type,’ but if I did … you would be it.”

Her smile widened to a grin. “I didn’t know ‘insufferable know-it-all’ was a type.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “I hope I apologized for that.”

“You did, on our first date,” she said happily. “It was very gratifying.”

“I’m sure.” He paused in his cleaning. “What do we do?”

“For a living, you mean? It’s summer but during the school year, I teach Arithmancy and you’re still Headmaster, but you fill in for Harry in DADA when necessary.”

“Harry Potter teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts, why am I not surprised?” he asked, rolling his eyes.

Hermione giggled. “You mentored him.”

“I think I need to sit down,” Severus muttered. He repaired the table then leaned against it, eyeing Hermione warily. “I mentored Lily’s son?”

She nodded, still grinning. “It’s why he’s naming his next boy after you.”

“Next boy?”

“Yes, he and Ginny have a son, James Sirius, and their second child is due next month. They don’t know the gender yet, but it’s Lily Luna if it’s a girl and Severus Albus if it’s a boy.”

“I see…” He raised an eyebrow. “If we ever have a son, I hope you don’t intend to name him after either of your cohorts.”

Hermione chuckled. “Naming babies after loved ones is Harry’s thing, I’d rather name our children something original.” She stopped cleaning to stare at him. “You’re talking about us having kids.”

“I suppose I am,” he said, not meeting her eyes.

“Severus…” She took off the gloves then approached him and hesitated a moment before taking his hands. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

He finally met her eyes. “If my memories of the past six years are gone permanently, I won’t let that get in the way of giving you children.”

She sighed painfully as she let go of his hands and turned away. “I thought your self-sacrificing days were done.”

“Hermione-”

She went back to cleaning. “If we have children, it has to be because we both want them, not because I want them and you want to make me happy.”

“I … will take that into consideration.”

She sighed again. “Please do.” She finished cleaning her half of the room. “I’m going to make dinner. Try not to blow this place up again.” She headed for the stairs.

Severus muttered a blue streak as he finished cleaning. _After all these years, I finally have someone in my life who respects my wishes, even when those wishes contradict hers. It feels … odd._


	6. Chapter 6

Severus gave her half an hour to cool off, enough time to clean the rest of the lab and check on his stores, then he headed for the kitchen. Hermione was in the middle of making dinner and making a ruckus – every pot, lid, and cupboard door in the kitchen she banged as loud as she could. He didn’t say anything and her back was to him but after a moment, she sighed quietly as her shoulders sagged.

“I take it you heard that,” she said quietly.

“It was hard to miss.” He approached her cautiously. “Before the accident, I assume I did everything possible to make you happy. That should continue.”

She turned to him. “Even if you don’t feel the same way about me?”

Severus nodded. “I didn’t fall in love with you the first time all at once, did I?”

“No,” Hermione smiled a bit, “it was a process. But you did tell me later that you were attracted to me from the moment I knocked on the front door, looking, as you said, ‘like a-‘”

“‘Like a militant angel,’” he cut in, his eyes wide.

“You remember?” she asked, her own eyes just as wide.

“I … I remember saying those words.”

Her face lit up. “That’s good enough for me!” She threw her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly, an action that nearly knocked him off-balance.

Severus hesitated, stiff and unsure, before finally wrapping his arms around her lightly. She was short enough that he could easily rest his chin on the top of her head, which he resisted, and slight enough that holding her made him feel … _protective? Possessive? Both?_ _This is my witch and I will protect her from the world, not that she can’t protect herself._ The thought felt familiar, then an image came to mind – the two of them in bed together post-coital, Hermione dead to the world and him lightly stroking her hair. _A memory._

She lifted her head to gaze at him and his breath caught. “You’ll tell me if you remember anything else, won’t you?” she murmured.

“I do remember … something.” He tried to recall more of the moment. “We’re in bed together, you fell asleep. We had just … made love.”

“Honestly,” she said, her soft eyes dancing, “that could be any time – I always fall asleep right after. You, husband, wear me out every time.”

“Is that so?” he murmured, his chest swelling with manly pride.

“Mmm-hmm. Better than any sleeping draught.”

“It was raining.”

Hermione snickered. “Severus, we live in either London or Scotland, it’s almost always raining.”

“Hush,” he murmured. She snickered again then quieted when he raised an eyebrow at her. “There was a … newness to the sensations, I think it was our first time.”

She nodded. “That wasn’t until we had dated for a while.” The timer on the stove started beeping. She kissed his cheek then let go of his waist and turned to the stove.

Severus felt the loss of her warmth immediately. “What did you make?”

The answer was obvious as soon as she pulled it out of the oven, but she told him anyway. “Shepherd’s pie.”

“My favorite.”

Hermione grinned as she set the tray on the stove. “I know. It’s the first thing I made for you.”

“Did you know then it was my favorite?”

She smirked. “Not until your eyes lit up when I suggested it.”

He chuckled. “You must have caught me in an emotional moment.”

Hermione grinned at him cheekily. “After seven years of dealing with a repressed bastard, it was a nice change.”


	7. Chapter 7

They ate at the kitchen table as Hermione caught him up on what everyone else they knew had done in the past six years.

“Minerva retired?” Severus asked, surprised. “I never thought I’d see it.”

Hermione chuckled. “Yes, she said she wasn’t mentally prepared to teach the grandchildren of her students. ‘That’s the one thing that would make me feel old.’”

He smirked at her imitation. “How did she react to us?”

“Honestly?” she asked, grinning. “She hoped we’d get together, we simply did it faster than she thought we would.”

Severus didn’t return her grin. “You must have been terribly young when we started dating.”

“Nineteen, an adult no matter how you look at it.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re saying no one had misgivings?”

“You did, at first,” she admitted.

“And you didn’t?”

Hermione smiled a bit. “By the time we started dating, I was used to seeing you with an adult’s eyes, and I liked what I saw.”

_Why do I find that so hard to believe?_ “What convinced me?”

“Long conversations over dinner. Potions, the wars, what we both wanted out of the peace.” She smirked. “But I think the clincher was when you talked to Remus and Tonks about their relationship. From what I hear, they convinced you that you were being an idiot and Tonks said, this is verbatim, ‘Just snog her already.’”

Severus chuckled. “What are they doing now?”

“Tonks is the Transfiguration professor.”

“Merlin help us.”

“Remus is a househusband, he stays at their cottage in Hogsmeade with their son Teddy. He says he’s the happiest he’s ever been.” She paused. “The two of you buried the hatchet, by the way.”

“I assumed as much if I asked him and his wife for relationship advice. Dare I ask how the rest of your former schoolmates are doing?”

“Draco married Astoria Greengrass, they’re expecting their first. He teaches Potions.” She smiled a bit. “You’ll be pleased to hear he’s an upstanding (and uptight) citizen now. Lavender assists Trelawney with Divination. She matured quickly after the Battle of Hogwarts, but I suppose becoming a werewolf would do that to anyone. Remus helped her through the trauma of it. She and Ron are circling each other, I’d be surprised if they don’t start dating again before the year’s up.”

“And what does Mr. Weasley do with his time, besides pine after Ms. Brown?”

“He helps the twins with their joke shop but he’s still trying to find his place in the world. Harry and I suggested that he try teaching.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Then I’d have the three of you teaching together. I don’t think Hogwarts could survive such a calamity.”

Hermione grinned. “With Neville assisting Sprout with Herbology and Luna assisting Hagrid with Care of Magical Creatures, you’ve already got most of our crowd working for you.”

“Merlin’s hide, what possessed me to do that?” he muttered.

She didn’t laugh but her eyes were dancing as she took a sip of her wine. “Why don’t you invite Minerva over for tea tomorrow? She can tell you everything I’ve left out.”

He nodded. “An excellent idea. And what will you do?”

“I think I’ll go over to the Burrow, maybe someone there will have an idea how to help you.” She smiled cheekily. “Assuming, of course, you’ll be alright without me.”

He smirked. “I think I’ll survive a few hours without you, even if it is in Minerva’s company.” Severus found he wanted to kiss her, a sensation both new and familiar. It made him anticipate and dread the night to come.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione sat up in bed that night, reading, while Severus changed in the en suite. At least, that’s what she was trying to do, but she couldn’t get her considerable brain to focus on the words on the page. Instead, she kept going over the day’s events in her head, specifically the embrace in the kitchen.

_Being in his arms again felt so right, but I shouldn’t touch him without his permission._

“ _Hogwarts, A History_ , really?” Severus asked, amused, as he approached the bed. “Shouldn’t you have it memorized by now?”

Blushing, she tried to hide her face behind the book. “It’s comfort reading,” she muttered.

He climbed into bed beside her. “Then I take it this isn’t a regular thing?”

“Not this book, but I usually read something before bed.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “What does that say about our love life?”

She smirked as she marked her place then set the large tome on her nightstand and turned off the lamp. “You have a tendency to manhandle my books when you’re feeling amorous.” She pointed to the far corner of the room, where a floor cushion rested. “You’ve thrown so many of them over there that I put the cushion there to at least keep them from making so much noise when they hit the floor.”

His small smile was in no way apologetic. “And when you’re feeling amorous?”

“I still have enough presence of mind to put my books where they belong – on the nightstand.”

“Not unlike you just did?”

She smiled a bit. “Don’t worry, Severus – I’m not about to jump your bones. Not until you’ve recovered, at any rate.”

He smirked. “And here I fancied myself irresistible.” _Nothing is further than the truth, of course. I may have lost some of my memories but I know what I look like._

“Oh, you are,” she said with a laugh, “but I can restrain myself.” When she saw the surprised look on his face, her smile softened. “Is it really so surprising to hear that I’m attracted to you, Severus?”

“You’d be the first,” he muttered, looking away.

She reached out to take his hand. “Then it’s a good thing you married me, don’t you think?” He looked down at their joined hands but before he could say anything, she leaned over to softly kiss his cheek. “Goodnight, Severus.”

He looked up at her, willing the memories to return but nothing was forthcoming. “Goodnight, Hermione.”

She laid down on her side, her back to him, her cloud of hair taking up the rest of her pillow and then some. His fingers itched to run through it but he restrained himself, barely. He turned off his lamp then laid down, facing her, and wondered if they usually slept curled in each other’s arms. _Something tells me we do._ Sleep claimed him quickly and he welcomed it.

* * *

Hermione woke in the middle of the night to a familiar sight – her head resting on her husband’s chest, his arm around her. _Except he’s not my husband now. Or at least, he doesn’t remember being my husband, so I guess it amounts to the same thing._ Realizing it was her full bladder that woke her up, she gently extricated herself from him then quietly escaped to the en suite.

By the time she came out, Severus was sitting up and looking around confusedly. An urge to kiss him came over her but she ignored it as she walked back to the bed.

“Did I wake you?” she murmured as she climbed back in.

“I think it was the sudden sense that I was alone in the bed,” he murmured as they both laid down.

Hermione kept to her side of the bed until he looked at her, the ambient light coming in from outside just enough for her to see him extend his arm to her in invitation. She hesitated.

“It’s where you were, is it not?” he murmured, a smile in his tone even if she couldn’t see it on his face. “We both know you’ll end up at my side anyway. You’re drawn to my warmth.”

“I’m drawn to you,” she corrected softly as she gave in and moved to curl up at his side. “Your warmth is a bonus.”

Severus chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her. “If you say so.”

“Mmm… Haven’t you figured it out by now that I’m always right?”

“Hermione, I have known that since-” He cut himself off with a yawn. “Since your first day of class your first year.”

“‘Insufferable know-it-all,’ I know,” she murmured fondly.

“The Brightest Witch of Her Age.” He sounded utterly sincere.

“Thank you.” She was fading fast but just before sleep claimed her, she’d swear Severus kissed the top of her head.


	9. Chapter 9

Severus raised an eyebrow at the witch sitting across from him at the kitchen table. Minerva hadn’t changed a bit in six years, though perhaps her knowing smirk had become more knowing.

“You can’t be serious,” he declared.

She chuckled before taking a sip of her tea. “Is it truly hard to believe that your wedding was the social event of the year? You, the ‘tragic double agent who gave up everything for the Light’ and Hermione, ‘the Brains of the Golden Trio,’ ‘finding love in the aftermath?’ _The Daily Prophet_ ran a series of articles for a full month.”

“And naturally, you saved them all,” he muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Of course. Hermione did too, you should read them. Perhaps they’ll help.”

He nodded, pausing to sip his own tea. “Am I as truly … happy as Hermione says?”

“Finally, the real reason you asked me to come over.” She set her teacup on the saucer. “Severus, I have known you since you were eleven years old. You were happy in your friendship with Lily, but it was fleeting, often overshadowed by James and his friends’ treatment of you.” He started to speak but she held up a hand. “Yes, I knew what they did. Unless it got out of hand, professors back then were expected to let students work things out on their own. ‘Character building’ is what the ‘experts’ called it.” She rolled her eyes. “I should have stepped in then and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”

He stared at her for a moment then nodded. “I … forgive you.”

“Thank you. What you have with Hermione, it’s more than happiness. It’s constant and strong. Incandescent. Your face when she walks into the room or someone even mentions her name, it lights up brighter than I’ve ever seen. It’s as if all the shadows from your past evaporate in the light of her love. There really is only one word for it.”

“And that is?”

“Joy.”

* * *

“He doesn’t remember anything?” Harry asked, incredulous. They were seated around the dining room table at the Burrow, bottomless cups of tea in front of them.

“He remembers everything up to leaving St. Mungo’s after the Battle of Hogwarts,” Hermione said, sighing quietly. “Except for a couple of memories that have surfaced, the past six years are a blank.”

“So, he’s gone back to being a miserable git?” Ron asked. “Has he made you cry? ‘Cause if he has, I’ll-”

She smiled weakly. “Violence isn’t going to help, Ron, but I appreciate the gesture.”

“You didn’t answer the question, Hermione,” Ginny pointed out.

She sighed heavily. “I had a little cry, but because of the situation, not because of something he said. After I told him what he’d missed, he’s been quite … reasonable, actually. Even lovely at times. He wants to get his memories back.”

“Have you tried some sort of reverse-Memory Charm?” Molly asked as she came in with a plate of biscuits. “I know you said they tried a Memory Potion.”

Hermione stared at her while everyone else grabbed a biscuit. “A reverse-Memory Charm?” Her eyes widened. “Of course! Why didn’t I think of that? Molly, thank you! You’re a genius!”

Molly waved a hand in dismissal, but she still smiled happily. “It was nothing.”

“Uh oh,” Ron said, grinning. “Hermione’s got that Research Mode look again.”

Ginny smacked his shoulder. “Hush, it’s a good idea.”

She mentally ran through all the charms she knew. “I’ll have to check but I don’t think one exists.”

“If anyone can create a brand-new charm, it’s you, Hermione,” Harry said, grinning.

“But how would you test it?” Ginny asked.

“There’s always old Lockhart,” Ron said.

“I think he’s happier the way he is,” Hermione said. “I’ll have to try it on Severus without testing it beforehand, if he’s willing.”

“But if it goes wonky, he’ll end up back in St. Mungo’s,” Ron said, suddenly concerned. “Maybe even as Lockhart’s roommate.”

“That won’t happen,” she said firmly. “I won’t let it.”


	10. Chapter 10

“I refuse,” Severus said, glaring at the witch he’d quickly come to accept was his wife. After Minerva had left, he’d gone down to the basement and completely reorganized his inventory. Hermione had found him examining a bottle whose label had worn away and he was trying to identify the contents by sight alone.

“This could be our only chance.”

“And if the spell backfires, I would end up like that fool Lockhart.” He turned away from her, his eyes on the shelves in front of him. “Is this so bad that you would risk that?” he asked quietly. _I thought things were going rather well but evidently not, in her eyes._

“His spell only backfired because he used someone else’s broken wand,” she said quickly. “But with a wand in good condition, and a caster who knows what the bloody hell they’re doing-”

“Answer the question, Hermione.”

“Of course it’s not bad…”

He turned to her. “But it’s not something you can live with.”

“Not forever,” she admitted quietly.

“I see,” he said coldly as he brushed past her and headed for the stairs.

Hermione followed him. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“But-”

“Do not wait up.” He left the house, slamming the door as he did so, and started walking, not caring what direction he was going in.

_I don’t care how confident she is in her own abilities, as considerable as they are. I will not risk turning into another Lockhart just so she can have what we were._

Wanting a drink (or six), he Apparated to an alley near The Leaky Cauldron then went into the inn and headed straight for his favorite booth in the back. Once he had his usual glass of firewhisky in hand, the familiar burn relaxed him more with every sip.

“Excuse me for saying, sir,” Harry said as he slid into the other side of the booth, a bottle of beer in hand, “but drowning your sorrows isn’t going to help.”

“It never works anyway,” Ron added as he slid in next to Harry.

Severus rolled his eyes. “She sent you, I assume?”

“Not exactly,” Ron said, looking a bit guilty.

“Hermione called Ginny as soon as you left,” Harry said. “She just wanted someone to talk to but when I heard what happened, I thought maybe it was time Ron and I taught you something.”

“If you two are going to lecture me about how to treat a witch-”

“Nah,” Ron said, grinning, “just how to treat Hermione.”

“I know how to treat my wife,” he muttered, his eyes on his glass. “Leaving felt like a better option than shouting at each other all night.”

“She’s heartbroken, sir,” Harry said gently. “She thinks she drove you away.”

Severus raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you always call me ‘sir,’ Potter?”

Harry smirked. “Only during the school year, but I thought you’d appreciate it now.”

He nodded then took another sip.

“Just … go home and talk it out,” Ron said. “Talk, not shout.” He nervously rubbed the back of his head. “You two are meant to be together, I know it.”

“When did you become an authority on relationships, Weasley?”

Ron blushed. “I’m not, ask anyone, but on your last anniversary, I … um … asked Lav to see if she could, well, see anything about you two.”

“Merlin preserve us,” he muttered before knocking back the rest of his drink. “And what did Ms. Brown find?”

“She said you and Hermione are going to have a long and happy marriage.” Ron sipped his drink then added with a grin, “And three kids.”

Severus rolled his eyes. “Divination is an art, and a dubious one at that. There is nothing concrete-”

“Look, Severus,” Harry said firmly, “the future is always up in the air. No one can see all of it clearly ‘cause it changes with every choice we make. You love Hermione, even if you don’t remember, and she loves you. She’s sorry, you’re sorry, so stop being a git and go home.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you done, Potter?”

Harry mimicked his expression. “I don’t know, are you? I’ve got a pregnant wife and a three-year-old waiting for me, but I’ll sit here all night if I have to, just to make sure my best friend’s husband gets some sense into him.”

“Me too,” Ron insisted. “Er, not that I’ve got a pregnant wife or a kid, but you know what I mean.”

Severus looked from one young man to the other. “Both of you despised me.”

“While we were in school, yes,” Harry said with a nod.

“That was before we knew you were a spy for Dumbledore,” Ron added.

“And that he asked you,” Harry said, not needing to be specific. “Then you had our respect. And by the time you and Hermione got married-”

“You were like family,” Ron cut in, grinning. “Usually the thundercloud hanging over any party, but we got used to it.”

“I … see.”

“Go home,” Harry said. “Talk things out with Hermione. Everything will work out.”

“Lav saw it,” Ron added, grinning.

Severus rolled his eyes then slid out of the booth. “Very well, gentlemen. Potter, you may go back to your family. Weasley, back to your bachelor pad. Give Mrs. Potter and Ms. Brown my condolences.”

“Whatever you say, Severus,” Harry said, grinning. “Give Hermione our love.”

He nodded before leaving the inn and heading for home.


	11. Chapter 11

Hermione paced the length of their sitting room, nervously wringing her hands. When she had called Ginny right after Severus left, she never imagined Harry would insist on talking to him. She was less concerned that they would (verbally) tear each other apart than she was that Severus wouldn’t listen to him.

“I’m so stupid,” she muttered as she paced. “Of course he’s good enough the way he is, he’s Severus! Even if the rest of his memories don’t come back, we’re rebuilding our relationship, aren’t we?”

“I like to think so,” her husband said quietly from the doorway.

She ran to him and launched herself into his arms, his arms coming around her immediately. _No hesitation this time,_ she noted happily as she buried her face in his chest. His chin lightly rested on her hair, just like it used to when they embraced.

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured, her voice muffled by his shirt.

“Don’t apologize, Hermione,” he murmured. “You have every right to want what you and I had.”

She lifted her head to gaze at him. “You thought I was rejecting you, didn’t you?”

Severus nodded. “The thought did cross my mind. I know I’m not the same-”

“Don’t,” she murmured. “You’re still Severus, with or without amnesia. You are still the man I love. The question is, the only question I’ve cared about since this started, can you love me without your memories of our time together?”

He raised one hand to cup her cheek, his eyes so soft she wanted to cry. “I can … and I do.”

“Oh, Severus…” At his words, she felt tears, happy tears, roll down her face.

He lowered his head to kiss her softly, so softly. She clung to him and poured her heart and soul into the kiss. He pulled back when they needed air and lightly pressed his forehead to hers.

“I want to try,” he murmured.

She pulled back to stare at him. “What? Severus, no.”

“It’s the only way to be fair to both you and the man I’m supposed to be.”

“But the risk-”

“Is small, you said it yourself.” He kissed her softly then let her go and took a step back. “Now, Hermione.”

She swallowed hard. “If this backfires, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I forgive you for whatever goes wrong. Please, love.”

Hermione nodded then pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed at him. _“Recordor!”_

A blast of white light shot of her wand and hit his forehead. Severus fell to his knees, his eyes squeezed shut, and for a moment, he struggled to breathe.

“Severus!” By the time she knelt in front of him, he was breathing heavily.

“I’m alright,” he insisted as she pulled him into her arms. He held her tightly, burying his face in her hair. After a moment, he murmured, “The Amortentia, it was an experiment. I was making it as a favor to Draco, to see what would happen if a student tried to alter the potion.”

She stared at him. “You remember?”

He smirked at her, his eyes dancing. “All of your charms work on me, Hermione. Why should this one be any different?”

Hermione let out a whoop of triumph then hugged him again. He hugged her back for a moment then got to his feet and helped her to hers. The look he gave her was hot enough to curl her toes.

“I think,” he murmured, his voice like black velvet as he led her to the stairs, “it’s time for you and I to get started on those three children.”

“What three children?” Hermione asked, smiling and more than willing to follow him.

“Ask Lavender the next time you see her.”


End file.
